Hope you are all doing well!
I think its safe to say that, at least to some extent, everyone likes to gain the acceptance or approval of others. I know I sure do.
I think that its human nature to desire to be well-liked since we humans are such social beings.
I think that this need for approval becomes problematic when we constantly think about, worry about, and stress over how other people will judge every step or action that we take.
The reason why I felt the need to briefly write about this is because I was recently spending time with a dear friend who has a normal office job but on the side she also has a very small business as well. She asked me if I had told my parents about her business and I admitted that I had (because as far as I can remember she never told me that I shouldn’t tell anyone about her business)
After my admission she briefly became very sad and I could really see the intense agony in her face and she told me that she did not want anyone to find out about it because then people would start talking about her behind her back. (As a side note, I don’t know why she was worried about people talking behind her back because I think that starting a small business is a very impressive thing to do).
The truth is that when I told my parents about my friends’ business venture they were very impressed and then they never discussed the matter again. This simple incident reminded me that sometimes we make things a bigger deal than they really are. We fear that others are judging us and talking about us behind our backs but in reality they are not doing any such thing because they are usually too busy and/or stressed with their own lives.
Lets say worst comes to worst you do something and people do start talking about you behind your back. I know that this would be a nightmarish situation for many people including myself. However, the reality is its more than likely that people are not going to talk about what you did or what happened to you forever.
More often, they might discuss you among themselves for a few minutes and then they might go to a different topic or soon afterwards things will come up in their own lives such that you are probably going to be the last thing they are worried about.
Also, please remember that people who do talk behind your back are far from perfect themselves and remember that their words do not make you any less successful, likeable, or less of a good person. Their words cannot harm you as long as you don’t let those words affect the way that you think or act.
I know that this is much easier said than done but I think that instead of worrying and agonizing about what others think about us we should instead focus on being the best version of ourselves that we can be and making sure that the decisions that we make are true to our own beliefs and values.